How to Survive an Emotional Affair and Regain Trust and Self-Respect

An emotional affair can be as devastating as a physical affair. But just what is an emotional affair? and how would you know if your spouse is having such an affair? Here, you'll discover what an emotional affair is, why it is serious, and, how to survive it and come out the other side with renewed trust and self-respect...

What is an Emotional Affair and Why is it Called an 'Affair'?

Let's start with a loving, trustful relationship or marriage: In this relationship, each partner openly communicates and shares his or her innermost feelings, hopes, fears, dreams, joys, desires, thoughts, ideas, plans, etc., willingly and lovingly. This is the complete trust that a loving couple have for each other, and provides the foundation on which a successful marriage or relationship is based.

Now, should a person stop communicating in this way with their spouse or partner, and instead start to open up to someone else outside of the marriage or relationship, then this is a transference of their most intimate emotions. By committing time and energy in this emotional way with the other person, we can say they are having an 'emotional affair' with that person.

Early on, this is usually at the emotional level only. But these emotional affairs can soon turn into physical intimacy. This is why emotional affairs should be treated with the utmost seriousness by both partners. And the earlier that it is faced the better chance there is to survive the affair and repair the marriage or relationship even better than before.

The chances are that you have discovered that your spouse is having an emotional affair. Of course your spouse, when confronted, has probably retorted by saying that it's only a friendship -- usually with a work colleague, neighbour, fellow club member, etc. -- and that they are good at listening to your spouse, and that's it's purely platonic.

But if your spouse has stopped having meaningful conversations with you, and any communications you do have are only at the very basic level of things you have to talk about to get by on a daily basis, then he is in an emotional relationship with the other person. And this is emotional 'cheating' because he is investing time and emotional intimacy with someone else when it should be with you.

How to Survive an Emotional Affair

Right now, your emotions are going to be all over the place. According to expert marriage counselor, Frank Gunsburg, Ph.D., the typical feelings you have right now are a mixture of anger, guilt, sadness, neglect, defensiveness, and so on. But in order to move forward you have to be able to start to think clearly and both of you have to be open and honest and fully committed.

The first thing is to realize that, although your spouse has made a really bad choice, there is probably an underlying reason or reasons that led to some 'disatisfaction' in the relationship. So it's worth thinking back to what it was like before the affair, when everything was good. What made it so good? How did you used to resolve issues and conflicts? How did you communicate?

Now, has anything changed in your relationship? New job? Children? Illness? Try to think of anything that was the precursor to your spouse's apparent change in behaviour, or a potential reason for his 'disatisfaction'. Is there now less time available to spend with one another?

One of the important aspects of communication you need to understand is that communication between loving couples isn't just words, there's also non-verbal communication such as hugs, touching, stroking, kisses, etc. Even how you look at one another. And there are other things like going for an intimate romantic meal, going for walks together, etc.

So, hopefully, you can see how both of you need to start to repair verbal and non-verbal communications between you. Make time for one another where you can start to communicate at a more profound, emotional level again. Go for walks together in the park, at the beach, etc. Discuss what you did at work that day. And don't forget to start-up those romantic evening dinners again. Even staying in watching a good movie on t.v. curled up on the sofa together can be very rewarding.

Now, this isn't going to be turned around all that quickly, it's going to take time, energy and committment on both sides. But if you both stick with it you will eventually reach a deeper, more profound connection in your relationship, which along with other important steps you need to take, will eventually lead to a trusting, loving relationship / marriage, that can be even better than before...

To get more information on how to survive an emotional affair including a FREE downloadable 21-step spontaneous healing plan, please go now to www.emotionalaffairsite.com for the facts.